Chasing the Bright, Elusive Butterfly of Love - Getting Back on Track After a Breakup

You may have heard someone ask "How do I get my ex back?" You might have seen them sob over it and be lost in the emotional kickback of the situation.

Expression of grief is a normal response in these circumstances, and losing a loved one can result in emotional and mental scarring that can last a lifetime. Breakups can be devastating to the individuals directly concerned and to the people around them as well, for a person who has lost a husband or wife, or a boyfriend or girlfriend is usually mired in despondency for a time, viewing life as through a glass, darkly.

Life doesn't have to be that harsh, though. Every situation is different, and although it may seem to be an impossible quest, there is always the possibility that you can get your ex back regardless of how nasty and hateful your relationship seems to have grown. If you are one of those individuals that would ask, "How do I get my ex back?" there are actions you can take, proven by the test of time, that will put you on the path to winning back your ex.

First, accentuate your independence. You want to be the one with the emotional edge, or at least you want your partner to think this is the case. Act as if nothing is wrong or different. Be unconcerned that your partner isn't present, and live your life for a time as if nothing has happened. If he or she calls, just let the phone ring. (Caller ID is wonderful..) If they turn up in person to ask you to dinner or a movie, give it a pass and let it go. Don't provide entertainment, or the satisfaction of stepping up and arranging your time to fit their schedule.

Try something unexpected and new for a hobby that will take you away from your house on a regular basis. If you've been out scuba diving, or race car driving, or bowling four nights a week, chances are fairly good that your partner will be curious about why you seem to be living your life on your own terms and enjoying it. They should be led to see that they aren't really the most important thing in your life today.

Let them wonder what is going on. This is perfectly fine, and tends to put them in the state of mind you want them to be in, longing for you, but uncertain of their place. There is nothing that says you are required to explain your actions. Be nonchalant. Never let them suspect that you are equally desperate to see them. Let THEM deal with desperation in their own manner and time.

Accept their advances gradually. Extend your trust to them over time and allow them to earn a place beside you. Let them know, subtly, that trust is something to be earned, not demanded, and if they are serious about having a place in your life, they will do what they have to to earn that trust.

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